Saturday, May 31, 2008

this day in may.

Today is 31 May 2008, so says the date above this post. It is, and will probably be an insignificant day in the history books for me, and most people around the world. For me, it has been nothing but a bumming Saturday starting from 10am, when I started bumming, until now, when I am still bumming. There is no event that causes the newspaper editors to rush into overtime. Therefore, it's insignificance to most almost makes sure of the fact that 20 years later, not many will remember 31 May 2008, unless it happens to be a birthday, anniversary or some other event worth remembering.

However, today is special in its own way. It is, after all the only 31 May 2008 in the continuum of time, and will always be. Some might argue that there will always be a 31 May the next year. But just as 31 May 2008 is different from 31 May 2007, 31 May 2009 might bring about new surprises you never knew it could. It might pass pretty much the same way as today, but it is inherently different. You are one year older, as is everyone around you. New friends may have been made, old friends lost touch with.

So today might have been spent in the company of the new Mayday(how apt) JUMP! The World Tour DVD(or to be more sadly realistic, in solitude), but it's still special. Until I forget all about it 5 minutes later. Onward to June, the month which used to be holiday month but is now no-holiday month. Not a single public holiday?! The government ought to conjure something up!

justin.


So my recent blog posts have mostly been something about days, because thats how my life is going. Day by day by day until I start counting by weekends. Which pass as mundanely as weekdays due to my tiny social circle consisting of DVDs and internet.

晚安地球人+疯狂世界+世界末日

Reliable sources(Stix) has told me that Google several search results for "apocalypse" has pointed to the end of the world being 2012(I have not done the search myself). Reasons are rather apparent even now it seems. Political and economic chaos, natural disasters, spiking oil prices, running out of natural resources. It seems surprising that we could even last until 2012.

With the impending end of the world, the questions I find myself asking is not how we could extend the life of this planet or how we can live longer ourselves. Instead, I think, at the exact moment, when the world comes to an end, what will I be doing? Who will I be with, or want to be with? Will I go with any regrets?

The world we live in today seems to be going crazy for the aforementioned reasons and more. People, as civilisation progresses, seem to have a regressing ability for peace, love and thoughtfulness to others. Each country wants to be the best at everything and therefore will make more than a small number of enemies along the way. Diplomatic relations seem hypocritical, more for self gain and self-sustainability than international friendship. As a result, weapons and built and purchased for defensive purposes. When the a comes where natural resources run dry, and mans selfish nature comes to the fore, will these things powerful enough to blast entire countries to pieces be used to attack others for their possessions instead?

Natural disasters of large scale have happened so many times within 2 years. Is this the Earth's reply to human folly? Do humans really think they are bigger than they really are?

In 2012, when the world is supposed to end, I will be (hopefully) 24, done with National Service. From 2010-2012, what will I want to be doing? Slogging in a university? I hope not. What I do know is that before the end of the world, I would want to have seen the places I want to see and at the moment when "GAME OVER" flashes on the middle of the screen, I want to be with my family and my closest friends, just in case nobody continues the game before 10 seconds are up.

justin.

Thursday, May 29, 2008

the day that feels like friday.

I mentioned on the previous post that Thursdays feel like Friday sometimes. Today is sometimes. In fact today was so sometimes that as I was purchasing mee soto at the canteen today, I thought it was Friday and therefore did not order mee siam, which was the Thursday special. Somehow, the incidents and how things turned out today contrived to mess my mind up so much I was convinced it was Friday until 11.30am, when there was cookhouse Western food, which tasted like some combination of not very tasty scraps(pretty unusual I think). My coveralls were also dirtied to the extent I had to bring it home, thus it was quite suitable for it to be a Friday today.

However, I also note that I have been suffering from severe procrastination syndrome, which leads me to delay all my actions except those that I do not want to delay, making procrastination syndrome seem like a farce of a medical condition since it does not apply to everything. In fact, it's probably just bad decisions in disguise. This includes delaying my sleeping time, which I set at 11pm but gets delayed half an hour by half an hour until it's eventually 2am and I bid my cybernet friends who are willing to spare me some of their time 晚安地球人. Such as now, when I have nothing to do except post something utterly meaningless, I do not attend to meaningful activities like folding tomorrow's smart 4 or coveralls so that computer to bed would be a smooth transition. Thus, I would blend in well with the bear creatures with black eyes in the zoo.

The whole (over)load of information above points to probably nothing and is not justification of the Fridayness of today. But it's just as well it's not Friday because since I have set my sleeping time at 8pm, I might get to bed at midnight with some luck.

justin.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

tuesdays are terrible and terrific.

Today, being Tuesday, was quite like any other Tuesday in the past few weeks. Tuesdays have this Tuesdayish feeling about them, quite unlike Thursdays, which sometimes feel like Friday, such as the Thursday where I met Ben during A levels. Tuesdays are always a day of irony because they are the second day of the week.

A glass 2/5 full person would see Tuesdays as "HA! 3 days to weekends after today."

On the other hand, a glass 3/5 empty person would see Tuesdays as "SHIT! Only 2 work days passed!"

On my left hand, specifically the middle finger, there is an artistic V-shaped cut sustained today, therefore, this particular Tuesday, I saw it as "OUCH! My finger."

Anyway, as I was going on about Tuesdays, they are actually quite a normal day of the week. The only reason I'm talking about it is because today happens to be Tuesday, and Tuesdays are a good subject to be talked about on Tuesdays. If I blogged about Tuesdays on a Friday, I would be very weird, because Fridays are the semi-weekend days where blogging about Tuesdays is seen as a redundant and retarded activity. Only weekends are good to blog about everyday, since everyone looks forward to them. Yet when they arrive, they seem to always be in a hurry to be somewhere else, and Monday has to come and take all the shit from everyone who hates it because it marks the start of a new work week. But I digress.

Tuesdays almost always leads to Wednesdays, because that is the way the calendar goes. However, one might question if Tuesdays instead lead to Wednesnights because it's so dark at 12am anyway. Why does a day start at 12 and not 6, where it's actually closer to sunrise and can be called a day? On occasions that a Tuesday does not lead to a Wednesday, one possible reason could be accidentally tearing the Wednesday paper on a tearable calender, leading to an immediate Thursday. But it is in fact, still Wednesday, disguised as Thursday to cheat ones feelings.

Lastly, one might question the reliability of this post. Let me assure you that information above is totally unreliable and the only reason I'm doing this is to prevent my brain from degenerating to the point of dementia. Lack of thinking sometimes leads to that. Or posts like this.

justin.

Monday, May 26, 2008

premature monday blues.

How the weekend flies. Mundane Monday has arrived yet again and is a new start to another week of my dearest SM-1. It's 1.07am which means I won't get enough sleep for tomorrow. Leading to another weekend of long sleeps. June is going to be such a long month with no public holidays and all. Oh well. Enough whining and more sleeping.

justin.

Saturday, May 24, 2008

出頭天

出頭天 /五月天

在我的天頂 甘有人會看見 看到我不甘願這樣過一生

在我的一生 我甘願來相信 每一朵花都有自己的春天

在我的天頂 大雨落不停 也不能改變到我的固執


永遠等待 那一日 咱可以出頭天 人生不怕風浪 只怕自己沒志氣

那一日 咱可以出頭天 我盼望的日子 會真快 來到我身邊


在我的天頂 甘有人在保佑 怎樣我常常摔的頭殼流血

血乾會結痂 失敗也不失志 成功是咱自己看自己得起


飄浪的日子 等待著時機 我不信命運會這麼無情


永遠等待 那一日 咱可以出頭天 人生不怕風浪 只怕自己沒志氣

那一日 咱可以出頭天 我盼望的日子 會真快 來到我身邊


I will wait for the day when I make it.

Friday, May 23, 2008

Two-railed train ; 双轨列车

"Bilingualism is like the two rails on a train track, working hand in hand towards the same goal."
-adapted from something I heard in secondary school


I had this sudden decision to make this post a bilingual one. I had been meaning to do one in mandarin in a bid to rescue it from falling into the endless abyss of mediocrity, but never got down to it. Now would be a good time and a bilingual post would possibly offer a new perspective in my expression.

Choice is something I guess I never had the biggest variety in. In other words, I don't always get what I want. Rejection however, is not always easy to take, especially since I waited so long for it. I had been rejected entry into university, which has dampened my mood a little, since I thought I had done adequately in the interview. But I guess life's not always fine and dandy.

Since young, I've been living on either side of this fine line. A borderline pass or fail. Excellence has never been my forte. I believe I am quite good at talking rubbish but people beat me at that as well. My confidence has taken a slight dip(into the crevice at the ocean floor where even fishes with light bulbs on their heads fear to venture). But this has given me some time to think about my future and what I want to do about it. As of now, I have not been able to come up with a satisfactory answer. I shall let the question linger in my mind a little while more.

My ambitions have been ever changing since I was a boy. I remember clearly wanting to be a double decker bus driver when I was 3. My favourite toys were buses and I thought they were the most awesome transport in the whole world. Then I wanted to do business, wanted to be in a rock band etc. Now, I find myself sorely lacking in ambition. I dream of doing something big, but until I find out what, I am rather like stagnant water, waiting for mosquitoes to breed in me and spread diseases.

I realise that the post has not been very bilingual up until this point. So here goes.

我想,如果现在不用华语, 那可能再也不会找到那股冲动。就像在以上用英语所说的,在我从小到大,我所有的选择不是最好的。 但问题不出在别人,而在自己。不知从什么时候开始,对学业和生活有一种得过且过的态度。 我想当时,应该是认为如果期望不高,失望的机会就越小。 说来也奇怪,那种态度真的让我在生活许多方面比别人容易看开, 不对成绩放下太大的重视。这可能让我在现实的世界上输给了竞争力较大的对手,但看着他们得到自己所要的成绩,却有一幅不太开心的感觉,我便开始想 - 值得吗?

虽然这么说,但被大学拒绝了,心里总会感到有一点失望。可能是人都会这么觉得吧。在心里有那么一点的希望,却没实现,这种感觉实在难以形容。面试时认为自己做得不错,但生活总是有一些曲折,让我们有一些经验,考验,看看我们到底有多坚强。如果人生一帆风顺,我可会不想活了呢!

我的未来在这个时刻,看起来不是很光明。 我也可能就是阿信在《人生海海》里面的主角。 就如他所唱的 “天天都漫无目的, 偏偏就想要证明真理,别人从屁股放屁,我却每天每天都说要革命”
就像现在, 我穿着蝙蝠侠的四角裤,坐在电脑前。四角裤上印的明明是英雄,但穿着他的主人根本不知道是个什么东西。

想着想着,便想到了梦想。想到梦想,就想到以前有用英语写过的 切.戈瓦拉。 他在许多人们的眼里,可说是个风云人物。在他想以共产来团结南美洲,让人们有更好的生活,并往他的目标勇往直前当中,人们可能忘了他为了目标所付出的代价, 和为了目标所作的一些残暴的行为。当我们在追逐自己的梦想时,是否也忘了我们得为梦想所付出的代价。或者,因为想起可能付出的代价而不追逐梦想,就太不值得了。我认为,为了梦想付出一切的感动,才是最值得的。

说了这么多,也不知道朋友们根本会不会花一些心思来看。也许看到文字题,嘴里马上出三字经 -“他妈的!英文写得好好的,干嘛无缘无故用中文写?!” 我就是偏偏要写,让大家看不懂,或看得不耐烦。这篇用了生锈的华语写的篇章,大概唯一的读者就是自己!


So here marks the start of another English paragraph(possibly the last paragraph). As those who have bothered, or can read the Chinese part may have realised, the posts weren't about the same thing. So if you can't or won't bother to read it, I'm sorry but thats the way life is. I'm too bilingual for my own good. =)

justin.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

I am light ears ahead of you.

People seem to believe everything. My grandmother used to say my brother has "light ears" because he listens to others words and believes them easily. Some people just choose to believe whatever others say without first processing the information given. Sometimes, I myself am guilty of such uncommonsensical actions.

Here is an example, without any references of allusions. Seriously.

M: [name] is a masturbator. HAHAHA.

A: Eh why you say him?

M: You didn't know? The ATT guys caught him doing it in the last cubicle of the ground floor toilet.

A: Really ah?(with a look a semi-disbelief, yet swallowing the words, which are quite obviously false once you bother to think about it)

M: HAHAHAHA.

This is just an example of how any nonsensical piece of information could be taken quite so seriously. Imagine if someone overheard this conversation and believed M. Then he would tell someone else. Someone else would tell someone else. The story will than mutate like the H5N1 virus. The news would definitely spread like wildfire at the speed of bad news, which is faster than the speed of light. The person in question would have a hard time proving his innocence once it spreads, despite the contents of it having no evidence.

Sometimes, people are just so willing to believe anything. By the way, in case anyone thought this was an allusion despite me already stating it's not one, it's not one. It was just a sudden musing.

justin.

pardon the (pun)ishment.

SM-1? No sweat. Here is where I start telling the truth. So recently, we have been doing the hydraulics operated SM-1 turret, which is small, cramped, unmanouverable, oily, dirty, hazardous and more vile vocabulary used in the description of something small, cramped, unmanouverable, oily, dirty and hazardous. Hooks and knobs gleefully jab one in the ribs, hook onto ones coveralls or trap ones neck in the most uncomfortable positions while the poor man tries to remove some heavy ass component which happens to be blocked by another component. This activity is comparable to hauling a beached blue whale back into the middle of the ocean.

The fun rating from 1-10 of doing an SM-1 turret is a chart breaking -67billion. To put it simply, a person would rather stab himself in the heart with a rusty bayonet and swallow some bullets fired from an M-16.

This is actually a plan by the organisation to kill two birds with one stone. While saving money on the shell of the SM-1, rumoured to be purchased for a measly $1 per tank, it inculcates murderous intent in the otherwise "aiya fight what. Singapore sure lose one" soldiers who happen to be unlucky enough to have to fight a war in such claustrophobic conditions. Once inside, any enemy unlucky enough to meet this soldier, now with a pissed off rating of 67,000(OFF THE CHARTS!) should run and hide.

Actually, there is another bird to be killed. In a figurative way that is. It could be used as a torture device from prisoners of war, once it is rendered unserviceable. It is guaranteed that within 30 minutes inside the suffocating turret, the POW would run into any soldiers bayonet or grab a soldiers rifle and put his neck over the barrel. He would depart the world with a serene smile on his face despite his violent death. Anything is better than SM-1.

And the part about telling the truth, I'm not sure whether that itself can be considered to be true.

justin.

Monday, May 19, 2008

wanderful.

As I was wandering along the street, I caught the sight of my shadow stuck to the ground. And I wondered what it would be like to be a shadow, mimicking your owners every move. My shadow looked more imposing than I, taller, bigger. The black mass, without detail, hides all my imperfections. What was it like? What if my shadow, like in Peter Pan, became a separate entity? Would it be like me or totally opposite? The questions that flash through the brains of someone who has too much time.

justin.

it's just one of those days

where boredom gets to you and slowly culminates into frustration. Then anything can happen. But mostly nothing will.

justin.

Saturday, May 17, 2008

the boar of boredom bores me to death.

It's a perfectly lazy Saturday afternoon(of course since the afternoon is not really a "thing" it cannot be lazy and therefore lazy is just a poorly used adjective in this context. In fact the lazy one is me). The weather is pretty fine, with the sun shining overhead with temperatures you could bake pasta in. But still, its fine since the sun is up and with the temperature, you'd think El Nino(not Fernando Torres) is wreaking his havoc 50 years ahead of schedule. Greenhouses are probably sprouting up all over the world, accelerating the greenhouse effect. Of course this little piece of information is totally fictional as we all know the greenhouse effect is not caused by greenhouses but greenhouse gases such as CFC. Therefore we must eradicate all CFCs from this world, including a certain Chelsea Football Club.

I'm not making any sense at this point in time, thus I shall try to make sense by explaining the ingenuity of my title. The crux lies not in the alliteration but the word "bore" which could mean, drill or bore as in boredom. As such, I find it difficult to explain further since it's not really that smart after all. Being a lazy person, I shall stop now without a proper conclusion.

justin.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

end of term report card. (imaginary kind)

Name: Yeo Kan Seng
Level: Primary 4
Class: G

English: C. Has finally learnt how to differentiate cat from caterpillar. Identifies them as different entities now, where in the past has insisted cat is the short form of caterpillar.
Mathematics: D. Marked improvement from last term, when 27 seemed like the biggest number he knew. Presumably because thats the number of cheeseburgers he eats a day.
Chinese: D. Fair
Science: B. Good
Music: Has a very unique voice. The kind which can wake the dead and kill the living. Singing is not a recommended hobby for Kan Seng.
P.E: F. Very bad! Recommend a reduced intake of cheeseburgers by at least 80%.

Kan Seng is a relatively talkative boy. He should pay more attention in class and strive to get better results. It is very important for him to watch his weight and diet as it is not normal for a primary 4 boy to weigh 80kg.

justin.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

What do you mean what do you mean?

One day, Tom decided to take a walk with his pet fish. He went to the pet shop and bought a fish leash so that he could put it round the neck of Mr Tyranno-killer-wolf, his pet fish. He put the newly bought leash round the fishy neck of Mr Tyranno-killer-wolf and took it for a walk. Unfortunately, as Tom was not very smart, he didn't realise that fish could not walk and that the fish leash was for taking pet fish for a swim. He dragged Mr Tyranno-killer-wolf along the pavement on his leash, all the way to the corner store, got himself a can of cola and walked home. When he reached home, he realised that his fish had ceased to breathe. So he tried using CPR he learnt from school to revive the fish. But it didn't work. He put the fish back into the water, and it worked. Mr Tyranno-killer-wolf had enough energy to do a lazy backstroke above the surface of the water. He wasn't dead after all. Tom was very happy his fish didn't die and proceeded to share his can of cola with his fish by pouring some into the fish bowl.

justin.

Thursday, May 08, 2008

losing.

An old Chinese saying goes “旧的不去新的不来”.Sometimes, for something new to come in, something old has to go. Unfortunately, this isn't always true. In todays life!, I read a report on how liberating was it for the journalist, who is a book hoard to throw away some of her old books, which she didn't read again. Something similar happened. I misplaced one of my favourite books, which I loved to read over and over again. It's "boy" by Roald Dahl in case any of you were interested. It's a semi fictional autobiography of his that combines the innocence of a child with all the cynicism and sly wit of his adult self. I wish I could find that book right now. Some things should never be thrown away(or lost).

justin.

an apology.

For my ranting post yesterday. Thinking back, my reaction was probably wrong. But I don't want to delete a post to take my words back. It's cowardly. It's probably not going to be that bad.

justin.

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

a new way to spoil your kids' day.

Don't open the letterbox for 2 days and therefore see a letter regarding his university interview late. This way, he can miss his interview and feel fucking sad and pissed off.

justin.

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

sometimes.

I wish people used more of their hands and less of their mouths.

justin.

Sunday, May 04, 2008

you know...

you have no life when you are spending the weekend sitting in front of the computer stoning like a stone, being owned by boredom and your idea of an activity is getting up to go to the toilet.

justin.

Saturday, May 03, 2008

music of the night.

It really feels quite terrible to be alone. It's 2.33am, people are not replying on MSN and my light source is the harsh fluorescent bulbs. The fan is off, so there is no light whirring to accompany me. As such, I am also sweating due to the humid temperature. Why I do not walk 7 steps to the fan, turn it on, then walk 7 steps back is beyond my comprehension. People are complicated in that way(or just too damn lazy). Before deciding to do this, I was in a dilemma. I was hungry, but too damn lazy to walk to the kitchen to find food. My stomach didn't growl in protest so I guess it's just greed acting up in me. Come to think of it, it was probably a combination of the 2 cardinal sins of sloth and gluttony. So all was quiet, besides the tapping on my keyboard, where each tap sounds like a round being fired off from the 25mm Bushmaster chain gun.

Come to think of it, in this silent(relatively) night, sounds are still aplenty. The roar of cars going by, with the occasional ROAR of the Ferrari or Lamborghini. The aforementioned gunshots, and the sound coming from within myself. So my stomach decided to protest after all. The ticking of a clock is surprisingly clear, telling me "hey kid, time is passing as you waste your time doing whatever you're doing now."

"Shut up clock, just shut up!"

I don't like to admit I am wasting time, neither do I like to admit I am crazy for telling the clock to shut up. I can stop one clock but I cannot stop millions of clocks around the world. I cannot prevent the Earth from rotating around the sun and from spinning on its axis in a 23.5 degree angle. I am not yet fat enough. The table leg croaks as I rub my foot against it(for whatever reason I don't know). Perhaps somewhere, a frog is croaking back at my table leg, mistaking it for another lonely frog looking for a friend. It really feels quite terrible to be alone.

justin.

Thursday, May 01, 2008

mayday! we have another problem.

Happy Mayday to all. Fuck Chelsea.