hairpy day.
This morning, I washed my longish hair for the last time for a long time. I woke up naturally(late) for the last time for a long time. I cut botak for not the 1st time. But it never ceases to feel rather weird. In a few hours, I will be joining the green parade, balder than some guy from my former school. Won't be back until Chinese New Year. So adios until then peoples. Blah blah blah... Singapore.....blah blah... army.... blah blah... WITH MY LIFE! Ah friends who have been through that should know what I'm going on about. =D
justin.
happy birthday ah bia.
Nobody other than me is outside right now. So only I can do this.
On a totally different note, here's a joke:
A man and a woman were asked to construct a sentence containing the words love and sex.
Woman: It is morally acceptable for two people who are very much in love with each other to engage in sex.
Man: I love sex.
justin.
the solution to not being able to bring handphone chargers to tekong.
Please take a look at the may 27th post from my archives. I believe it to be very useful. =D
justin.
back with baggage (weighty issues).
I am back from Taiwan with a whopping 4kg gained in 10 days. I have no idea why, but I attribute it to excess food and lack of exercise. The weather there does not make for good exercise but is wonderful for sleeping. And eating of course. And I wonder why I claim not to know why I gained weight. Running away from reality I suppose. Which of course in reality, is not really running. It's a sort of pseudo mental running, where running means escaping, rather than physical running where your muscles and bones in your legs and pelvis area move in a smooth and fluid continuous motion which propels your body forward. If I had done that the issue of putting on weight would have never arised. And why I did not use escape in the first place escapes me.
I realise that my weight of 84.4kg right now is not the best. It made me wish I was pre-weight gain 80.4kg. But when I was 80.4 kg I wished I was 75kg. So I have jumped to the conclusion that the skinnier you wish to be, the fatter you become. Therefore, I have jumped to another conclusion that if you don't want to gain weight, don't think of losing it. Please, however, do not ask why. I hardly understand the rationale behind it myself. Another solution, albeit a compulsory one, is the upcoming National Service which all males in Singapore have to attend. I remember exactly 5 years ago, when my mum said ,"Wah, ni duo wu nian jiu yao dang bing le.(Wah, you're going to NS in 5 years.)" I was scoffing at the thought. 5 years is a whole lifetime away. Well it was. Now it's more like 3 plus days.
This teaches you to always be serious when your mum tells you you're going to do something sometime you think is still far away. It's not. Unless of course my mum tells me,"Wah, ni duo ji nian jiu ke yi qu lao po le.(Wah, in a few years you can get married already)" which is not really possible unless I order a bride from regional areas. I dread the day in a few years when I'm actually flipping a mail-order-bride catalogue.
justin.
more mature musing/commentary concerning generation gaps as well as other stuff.
I am in Taipei right now and enjoying myself pretty much. Probably like a pre-NS holiday. So far I've been to more places in Taiwan these few days than I've ever been in the past few years.
I firstly went to visit my maternal grandfather, who had suffered a mild stroke but has already fully recovered. My mother's friend however, had her mother in law passed away on the 11th of January, which was the following day which we reached Taiwan. I had no idea how she died but according to my mum's friend, it was quite peaceful, but also very sudden. They had rushed to Taiwan from China upon hearing the news and was probably just in time to catch her last breath. My mum's friend's husband appeared visibly upset about that, but appeared rather relieved that she had gone peacefully.
This led me to think how we should always appreciate the elders in the family and not wait until it's too late to be filial to them. Old people tend to be naggier, but along with the nagging, experience is passed on, though not always absorbed by the younger generation, who tend to be more self-centred. The generation gap between people my age and those a few years younger appears to be huge.
According to myself, I am probably stuck somewhere in between people of the previous generation and that of "my" generation. Teens and semi-adults nowadays appear to be much more shallow, being more concerned about appearance than character. Of course, appearance should not be neglected, but as those people I (perhaps harshly) condemned in my previous post, overate appearance. It has become a competition of who dresses better, or as James and I like to put it, "dress to impress". Often, it is also the uglier ones who have bigger actions. As my uncle, not so many years older than me puts it, "lang bai gao zho sai". Loosely translated, it means ugly people are good at doing shit.
Western influences are often pushed to the fore when such discussions arise. However, what we discussed over a beer and a long walk was that teenagers nowadays choose to follow parts of the Western culture as they see fit, and not totally follow it. This results in a culture of displaced people who are neither here nor there. Or rather, if this continues, it will become the norm, and it is people like me who become displaced. I personally believe that if one wants to follow the Western culture, then follow it to the extreme and individualise yourself, and support yourself, without depending on your parents for anything. I doubt many are able to do that.
There is also this "rebel without a cause". This can perhaps be attributed to the rebellious age of any person. And it is rather normal to fight against school rules, thus the hoo-hah about the haircuts. I, admittedly, have been through this phase and looking back at it, I believe myself to have been behaving like a retard. While hairstyles do not make a difference to characters, willingness to follow the set haircut reflects the character of a person. While they might think that unwillingness to follow the set haircut makes them non-conformist, they need to realise that just about everyone else is unwilling to cut a "slope" haircut and want to have longer hair. This leads back to the issue on the over-emphasis on appearance, as well as perhaps the naivete of the people in thinking that keeping a "different" hairstyle really makes them different.
Perhaps, as many have said, our generation's life is "too good". I agree. Parents often let children have their own way, and if this happens large scale, I believe that humans will be doomed not too far into the future. Political apathy is widespread, as well as the non-understanding of how difficult it is to earn money, while money is often spent like water(not to say water is cheap). Youths today therefore are less able to mature mentally due to our overly comfortable lifestyle. Personally, I believe family plays a big part in moulding one's character and I owe it to mine for not making me like the subjects of my post.
Perhaps all this is just my personal belief and that I belong to some "loser" anti-culture for not caring too much about looking good for others and not wanting to break school rules for the sake of it. Maybe staying childish and apathetic forever is the "cool" thing to do now. But personally, I'd very much rather be part of the "losers" if this is the case. My opinion is that if you keep up with fashion, there will be probably hundreds or thousands of people doing that same thing as you. Thus, I find it much more important to have a personal style, regardless of what is "in" at the moment.
This trip has also enlightened me on my direction in the future. Having discussed this with Zhen Yu for many times, I don't think I need to share what I hope to do in the future. Firstly because I haven't actually thought it through. But what my dad is doing now is unlikely to be viable for the future. Perhaps the two years in army would point me further in another direction.
Will be back in Singapore on Saturday and in Pulau Tekong next Friday. More thoughts and experiences then. Cheers to whoever reads this since almost everyone who comes here is in camp.
justin.
oh man(of which i don't believe the subjects of this post are).
I was just shown this blog by nahiep, whose brother is currently in my alma mater. Catholic High school.
http://nofringe.livejournal.comI must say I am fucking disappointed at how students from CHS turned out. I am sure I once moaned about my hair being cut in school, and how long hair doesn't make one any less of a gentleman. Besides, being a gentleman is not one of the original CHS school visions anyway. But the way the juniors moan about hair checks and complain about the teachers catching half the cohort is just plain ludicrous. They dedicated an entire fucking blog to complain about that. A rebellion eh? For fuck i say? For your vanity? Please go fuck yourselves. If long hair does not make one less of a gentleman, 5 year old little girl style whining sure does.
And if you really want to complain about someone, please do it like a man. What's the fucking deal with initials. GOH KEE YONG! Is that very hard to spell? And what's with your anonymous posts? Afraid of discipline? Then don't complain. Shut the fuck up and move on little girls. Since when did Catholic High become a school for vain sissies? I feel so disappointed at CHS producing such people. Whatever happened to being rugged enough not to whine about haircuts?
justin.
ps. On another note, Johnny Walker plus loser blogs make good inspiration. More time with Johnny soon then.
i think. or at least try to.
I think I'm going crazy. Recent blog posts have been rambling and about the boredom of my life. And I was so bored I actually began thinking about my future (before I go on, I predict another very rambling post. Though it's probably intended because this post is my personal thoughts and musings). As of now I actually think that it's rather bleak due to my pessimism of A Level results. For the short term, it's National Service, or going to Taiwan to visit them relatives before actually going into National Service. There's also my Basic Theory Re-test. In fact, there's probably nothing going in the two coming years.
I was flipping through life! today and I read the North Africa reviews of Tunisia and Morocco. Which added to my list of to-go places. These include Europe, which I know is very big, but I'd probably like a backpacking trip to everywhere there, especially to Liverpool, home of LFC and The Beatles. New Zealand, to reminisce about the old times there(I probably sound like some old guy now). My dream for NZ is to gather a few old friends whom I've more or less lost touch with that were my closest friends on that school trip to NZ. Moses, Glen and that's more or less it. Oh and it's where Flight of the Conchords came from. South Africa is also on my list, because I had a chance to go there when I was a kid but I chose Taiwan instead. Not very intelligent. I'd also like to revisit S.Korea and go on that tour to step into N. Korea as well, because that would be a great experience. As well as Japan, where I've never been, but that is mostly to look at pretty girls. Or to Northern Thailand to do some volunteer work. The warm hospitality provided by the people is just touching. The list just goes on.
It's a pretty optimistic list though, because both time and money are needed in extensive amounts. And the only way to get enough money for this is through my parents, whom I don't feel good asking them for. Especially huge amounts. Unless of course this happens to be a family holiday, where I'd be glad to go without guilt. Actually, this led me to think how actually it's not the places you visit on holiday, but the company you go with. Going with the family is the most likely, and it's always great to have a relaxing time with your family on holiday, be it to Pulau Ubin or to a tiny island on the Pacific, where I can cruise around in my Ferrari(dream on). As I was dreaming for the NZ trip, it could be for old friends to catch up with each other, or it could be just an excuse to hang out with your good friends, or even a chance to have 1-on-1 time with your lover(of which right now remains a distant dream more distant than all the long holidays to various parts of the world, my Ferrari and me being a millionaire). And I realise I'm rambling on and on.
On to the even further part of my future required to fulfill these holiday dreams. Work. Many people have already started working, and for a 19 year old, I must be pretty much dependent on my parents for cash, for I have never worked in my life. Even my sister has already flipped through various jobs. As of now, I have never thought about what I want to do in the future, but I believe a small business, which provides enough for food, shelter, bills and my occasional holiday splurge is enough(I must be mad, asking for so much and making it sound like its so little). Despite the fact that the old adage "hard work pays off" is deeply ingrained inside me, I remain lazy enough not to want to get up and make instant noodles when I'm hungry. I'm leaving the short term service to the country to change that.
I sometimes also dream of starting a family, which due to the fact that I haven't even come close to having a girlfriend, is still quite distant. However, I think that having my parents, grandparent and aunt around is a great blessing, and is family enough for the moment. I might call up a mail order bride company and get a mail order bride though.=D
And then my mind winds down the (presumed)lazy lower course of the river(because they actually move quite quickly contrary to my presumptions), I think about death, which is the inevitable. It might come in a few decades, it might come tomorrow. I think, what happens if I die now? Will I leave with regrets? Right now the answers probably yes. I have so many dreams I want to achieve, and I have family I want to be a part of, despite everyone's countless faults. I probably wouldn't want to die now. I'd probably linger if I died and I'd look for Odd Thomas and be his friend. And I'd still be a virgin if I died now. No points for that.
I find some of the above paragraphs rather personal and I now find myself thinking "Did those come from me?" Late night snacks probably do this to a person. And as I trace back from what I've started, I probably never went off track, but I did go through quite a lot of things which aren't linked per se. No wonder the brain is made out of twisty tubes with blood inside. It must be thought carrying blood.
justin.
binary solo.
These days I've been waking up in the late afternoon or evening, which is costing me a lot of daylight. One day, I didn't even see daylight because I woke up at 5.30pm and lazed around on the bed until dinner time. The typical lifestyle of a bum. No discipline, no aim, no motivation. Soon to be corrected by army but until then, very little daylight.
I need to do something about that because I think this other kind of routine lifestyle(as opposed to school or in the near future NS) is also killing my brain. No thinking needed, no adversity for me to dream up weird and crazed logics. No Lit lessons for me to get into the mood for literary stuff. Though there's always my books, but I've read them all before. Very late new year's resolution is to wake up before noon tomorrow.
justin.
all in time.
Time has long been a subject of my fascination and I have often mused about it on this. Recently, I completed the last book of the Odd Thomas series by Dean Koontz and have come across some interesting quotes about time.
"
We yearn for tomorrow and the progress it represents. But yesterday was once tomorrow and where was the progress in it?Or we yearn for yesterday, for what was and what might have been. But as we are yearning, the present is becoming the past, so the past is nothing but our yearning for second chances."
When I first read this quote, it set my long rusty brain whirring into thought. Unfortunately, as my brain has been long rusty, the whirring remained as unproductive as just a noise. An imaginary noise, since my brain's whirring is just metaphorical. So all I could think of was to share this quote with anyone who is willing to read it and enjoy it's poignancy.
Odd also uses time in his descriptions of his hopes meet Stormy, his deceased lover in the life after this, and be together forever.
"
As long as I remain subject to the river of time, which will be for as long as I live, there is no way back to Stormy, or to anything. The only way back is forward, downstream. The way up is the way down and the way back is the way forward."
"
Only time can defeat time and I will be together with Stormy forever when time ends and eternity begins."
Time is aptly described as a river, flowing only forwards, never backwards. From here, I gather the helplessness of humans in the grand scheme of things(and time). As I read this, my heart was also stirred by Odd's philosophical musings about things other people also muse about, but which few can so aptly put into words Odd(Koontz) has. As my mind has not fully gotten rid of the rust, more thoughts and comments that I think can be used to describe the quotes are unfortunately stuck behind a closed hydraulic operated door.
Pardon me while I ponder further about time, which has been a subject of interest to man since the beginning of itself.
justin.
something new.
What's new? The year maybe. It's 2008 today and my finger has not healed despite it being a year since I sustained my injury. Not technically, but that's not a major issue. As we all know, 2008 is much later than 2007, just like 19 is alot older than 18. In a new year, new things happen, sometimes old things too. Just like last year, when we were welcoming 2007, we spent one year in Ronald's place waiting for 2007 to warp into the distant future of 2008. Cue food, drinks, alcohol, drinking games, noise and drunk people. I shall not get into the little details of the gathering because it is boring to people(such as me) who have to read through everything to find nothing interesting. Of course, it is more painful for me because I wrote it. And it's about as enjoyable as falling asleep at your own speech. Also because every year, the details are about the same, such as us doing stupid things, but this year, the drunkards are different. Ah Bia was quite bad, and Kenneth was high. Ok, no more. Happy New Year everyone. Next year, it'll be all botaks.
justin.
