Thursday, July 31, 2008

i'm having a swell time.

Quite literally in fact. Today is the third day after the removal of my wisdom teeth, and my gums still feel quite swollen. I hope the wisdom teeth do not contain any wisdom for that would be a great loss. I also hope that the tooth fairy would be extra generous with the cash for wisdom teeth because they are a pain to remove. Literally and figuratively.

Consumption of food and drink is still quite inconvenient. Drinking from a straw and consuming food by the teaspoon has not been a habit. And it gets quite irritating not being able to open my mouth wide. BUT the free extraction plus the 8 days MC makes this inconvenience all worth it. =)

justin.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

that's a mouthful of wisdom.

I approached the side gates of Alexandra Hospital today with my mum. Today was my appointment to remove all 4 of my wisdom teeth, of which only 1 grew out but the doctor said I had to remove all of them anyway. So I walked there feeling quite relaxed, knowing that I was going to do General Anesthetic. End of introduction.

As I entered the ward, I was made to change into their operation attire, with their OT gown and an outer robe(they call it a kimono but I'm not a Japanese girl so robe it shall be). Apart from that, I also put on a silly shower cap like cap. I'm sure anyone who has caught any sort of medical show will know what it looks like. After that, I walked from the Day Ward to the place where they do such macabre operations. In my hospital attire, I squinted at the television set to see highlights of Brazil winning Singapore 3-0, after which I did the same medical survey 4 times by 4 different people, just to confirm that I'm not a liar I suppose.

After some time hearing the drills and saws but feeling strangely calm yet excited, I walked into the operating theatre, for the 1st GA in my life. I was first made to lie down and given some oxygen to inhale, while listening to the operating team chattering to me about whatever. I only clearly remember one guy being quite a handsome young man asking me about my camp and another one mistakenly regarding Sungei Gedong as an artillery camp before being corrected by the handsome young man in question. That made me feel like I was super awake and if the anesthetic was even working. I heard someone saying, you will feel something up your arm that makes you sleepy and I thought "yeah right I feel nothing" before suddenly waking up in the recovery theater, extraction completed. It was like an hour of my life just gone missing. I had no recollection of what happened whatsoever. No dreams, just like a blink and I was back to the future. With a whole new swollen jaw look.

I clearly remembered regaining consciousness when the nurses were pushing me back to the Day Ward to recover from bleeding gums. But the pain was there and I did not wish to stay awake so I tried to sleep the pain away. When I got back to the day ward, all I remembered was asking for a drink because my throat felt like the Sahara Desert at that point in time. When I finally got some water, I realised I had a sore throat also. Not fun. I also thanked my mum for getting me whipped potato which I requested for before the operation. But after the surgery, I wasn't confident that I could consume any sort of food at all. So I waited until I reached home to consume it lukewarm.

And then there are the equally rambly things, such as 8 days MC, medication, all of which I do not have interest in other than painkillers. I also bought 2 new Roald Dahl short stories collections for my week-long stay at home. Here I would also like to thank SJ for 顺便 visiting me after her movie at Tiong Bahru Plaza and consequently thrashing me at Guitar Hero. And everyone who asked me how it was. And Ah Yeong who advised me to eat solid food anyway, despite the doctor's instructions to eat porridge, and his great whipped potato idea.

Now this is really a mouthful. Or a handful.

justin.

Sunday, July 27, 2008

无边的宇宙 哪里有我想要的生活

Enjoy.



卢广仲-100种生活

整个世界 停止 不转动 很寂寞
走在海边 数着 萤火虫 好困惑
想要的生活怎么有一百种
不想掉进这深深 漩涡
整个海洋 摆动 柔软地 举起我
孤单给我 自由 犹豫得 好感动
想要的生活怎么有一百种
该怎么走 谁来告诉我 wow
每当我背对星空
抱着地球
发现自己其实脆弱 不敢说
当我背对星空
孤独摸索
爱情渐渐萎缩 我猜不透
无边的宇宙 哪里有我想要的生活
整个海洋 摆动 柔软地 举起我
孤单给我 自由 犹豫得 好感动
想要的生活怎么有一百种
该怎么走 谁来告诉我 wow
每当我背对星空
抱着地球
发现自己其实脆弱 不敢说
当我背对星空
孤独摸索
爱情渐渐萎缩 我猜不透
无边的宇宙 哪里有我想要的生活
每当我背对星空
抱着地球
发现自己其实脆弱 不敢说
当我背对星空
孤独摸索
爱情渐渐萎缩 我猜不透
无边的宇宙 哪里有我想要的生活
我那一百种 要在很就很就以后才会懂
我一百种生活

justin.

we shared a cup of lemon lime.

Sitting in front of my computer with nothing to do has led my mind to a song that first existed in the face of this world some 13 years ago - Lemon Tree by Fool's Garden. I am sure everyone who reads my blog(not many I presume) would know enough of this song in the back of their heads to hum along when the song is played. I think of how close my life is to the song at this immediate moment. Since "I'm sitting here in a boring room/It's just another (admittedly not)rainy Sunday afternoon/I'm wasting my time/I got nothing to do/I'm hanging around/I'm waiting for you(whoever you may be)/But nothing ever happens and I wonder".

Admittedly this is just the first verse but it's very close to what I'm going through now except it's not raining, which is not under my control. I also have no idea who I'm waiting for since everyone is at home now and there's still nothing to do anyway. I also wonder what I wonder about because at the present time nothing is going through my mind except "boring boring boring boring boring ARGHHHH".

I have just finished Odd Hours, which is the fourth installment of Dean Koontz's Odd Thomas series. I am a great fan of the series and Odd's strangely philosophical outlook to life, himself and time. There are so many quotable quotes in the novel that do not do them justice if I choose to take them out of the context of the life of Odd Thomas and forcefully fit them into the context of my own life. Compared to this supposedly low profile 20 year old fry cooks life, mine is boring and mundane, and is the very anti theory of his concept of making the most out of the time we have in this life before moving out of the faceless and formless time into the next.

Perhaps a good dinner would help me dissipate all the extra energy. Getting up from this chair is so difficult. Besides, good food would be out of my reach in a little less than 36 hours. That is when I prepare for the wisdom tooth removal by not consuming anything(not even water) and then find myself awake with a small part of me missing. Including the lost time, which seems to have just warped away.

justin.

Friday, July 25, 2008

rewind.

Took my PDL today. And I won't be in camp for a long time. New CD and new Odd Thomas book. Is the the beginning of something awesome?
____________________________________________________________________

As I was making this post, I realised a little orange word beside one of the entries. The word was draft to be precise. I guess I had forgotten to post it after writing it. So here it is

Friday, July 11, 2008

dreams of epic proportions.

Today was quite awesome. Came home early and had a wonderful 4 hour nap, with vivid dreams. Unfortunately I cannot remember anything in it. When you rush along in life, do you sometimes forget your dreams?
____________________________________________________________________

I also realise I haven't been capable more entertaining posts recently. Nothing really interesting seems to pop up. Perhaps people to people relations get more difficult to handle as we grow older, making it more difficult to concentrate on the more pleasant distractions in life. Do people always become more cynical and distrustful of each other as time slowly crawls by? I sure hope not.

justin.

是誰說藍色就等於憂傷 你看看天空和海洋

今天又很突然地想用华语来表达自己。前天我买了卢广仲的专辑《100种生活》, 听了觉得还不错。他的声音很诚恳,歌也写得不错,有轻松的感觉。专辑的封面上只是印着简单的专辑和自己的名字,还有自己的照片。照片上的卢广仲,看起来就像是反潮流的象征。他把头发梳成蘑菇头,穿着简单的 T-shirt 和短裤,T-shirt 上印着 sorry I'm late,白色的球鞋配上了拉倒小腿高度的线条袜子。如果他在街上行走,一定会吸引不少旁人的目光。但这专辑最好的就是它呈现出的态度。歌曲大部分都是轻快,俏皮的作品,让大家感受到 Vitas 诚恳地说:“我是卢广仲。请听我的音乐。”我听到的是他对歌唱的热情。

I cannot fluently express myself in Chinese anymore. After the laboured paragraph above, I shall stick to using English and leave Chinese to another moment of madness. As I was on about 卢广仲 's passion for singing, I wanted to say that I love to sing as well. In fact, I sing in the toilet everyday while in the showers, using the shower head as a microphone which sprays warm water all over my body, resulting in extreme comfort and enjoyment as well as some of you maybe picturing me naked singing in the showers. Not a good sight I assure you.

In fact, it's as bad as the state which my mind is becoming now. I am suffering from serious inability to think.

justin.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

silence is golden.

Organisational life makes one sick. It's too noisy.

There are fucked up people at every corner who are impossible to ignore because they happen to be an integral part of your job. Sometimes it's impossible not to get sick and tired of people mumbling into your ears, or making snide comments to undermine/mock/criticise you. And they WANT you to hear it, I think mostly to emphasise their own self regarded importance by putting others on a lower plane than themselves or by making themselves seem enthusiastic in front of superiors. To put it bluntly, ass kissing. Who are they actually fooling?

There are heavy vehicles moving around, engines roaring. Prolonged hearing of such things almost blends it into the background. When it stops, the sudden silence is ironically more deafening than the engine. You suddenly hear what the guy 2 chairs away is talking about on his phone. His voice is loud, in a battle with the engine. The battle ends abruptly. The guy wins an empty war as he keeps talking loudly and quickly anyway. You wish for the vehicles to start.

Sergeants shouting at us. Making us seem like worthless creatures. Are we merely a reflection of were(are)? Why did they sign on, if they were "worthful" enough to find a job elsewhere? You try to shut them off but the insults start to get personal. Your eyes release a fireball at the sergeants chest, hoping to burn him into oblivion. It doesn't work.

If only I had a remote control. I would push the mute button and enjoy the silent film. Silence, after all, is golden.

justin.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

mary had a little rant.

Sometimes, you just know it when people are out to get you. Today we had a surprise spot check for contraband items. People who brought the items were asked to surrender them immediately. When noone did, the usual threats came out. Typical? Definitely.

What was a little different was that the person who conducted the check knew that some people had the items. Instead of directly warning them not to bring it(he did ask those who brought not to get caught), he decided to go through the method of a surprise spot check to filter them out. Not surprising when factors like bias, envy and such are taken into consideration.

Some might feel I'm overreacting. I definitely believe I am not, despite my tendency to do so sometimes. The reason is because this time I am not directly involved. I did not bring any contraband items(admittedly out of pure coincidence and lack of ownership of the mentioned items), but if I were to bring them and get caught as well, 3/4 of the people caught would belong in a a certain smaller group of people(now its 2/3). Which if I were to mention directly would land me in serious trouble.

justin.

Monday, July 21, 2008

a day of heroes.

Nope not the TV series but the PS2 guitar kind. Awesomely fun to play and headache inducing. And the Bat kind also. Awesomely nice to watch. No reviews. Nothing.

justin.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

bomb.

Today we got released late. And missed the shuttle bus. Having not consumed food since 10 plus in the morning(we were released at about 6pm), Matthew and I decided to indulge ourselves in a little foodie trip. So we embarked on a long an arduous journey to City Hall MRT Station and take it from there.

After a little walking, we arrived at Billy Bombers in Marina square at approximately 8pm. So we decided to order what we thought we deserved. As I type, I am still satiated with the orders made approximately 3 hours ago, though they should be in a more semi-solid form that isn't as appetizing as when it arrived on a plate. Those current semi-solids include quarter-rack of ribs, 3 buffalo wings, fries, a naked gun burger with added onion rings, fried egg and cheese(biggest fucking waste of money), iced water and vanilla milk shake. Which did cost a bomb($45, which if we had been a little smarter would have gotten us a lovely steak). Which I realise might be quite appropriate seeing as the shop is aptly named "Billy Bombers".

Risking appendicitis, I rushed home, for I had business to attend to. Bombs of a different kind. And perhaps to make this day "da bomb", I should head off for a game of Bomberman on my brothers PSP. Guitar hero arrives on Saturday.

justin.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

in light of a cuban cigar.

As I was making full use of my MC, my subconscious mind once again wandered to the topic of freedom and death because I think my mind loves to loop around in confusing circles. Actually the reason I thought of this topic again was because when I was taking the bus to exchange my cracked ATM card, the song 摩托车日记 played on my handphone cum mp3 player. Before I start any of my confusing ideas, here's a(nother) poor attempt at translation of song lyrics. Haven't done it for some time.

摩托车日记 - 五月天

横越过南美洲 [Traversing across South America]

一万两千里的贫穷 [Twelve thousand miles of poverty]

我骑着狂妄的一股冲动 [I am riding on an arrogant impulse]

无垠的大地啊种不出一个梦 [The boundless land cannot even plant a single dream]

只看到那无数的 饥饿的孩子和绝望佃农
[I only see the countless starving children and despairing farmers]

呜谁在等待英雄 [Who is waiting for a hero]

呜我把左轮瞄准无情天空 [I aim my revolver at the merciless sky]

谁愿意和我 一起写一个传说 [Who is willing to create a legend with me]

你还梦不梦疯不疯 [Are you still willing to dream, to be crazy]

还有没有当初浪漫温柔 [Do you still have your initial romantic gentility]

谁愿意和我 一起写一个传说 [Who is willing to create a legend with me]

就算谁能消灭了我 [Even if someone destroys me]

却夺不走我们作梦的自由 [He cannot seize our freedom to dream]


印地斯的天空 [The Andean sky]
(Just FYI the Andean mountain range is in S. America, across as many countries as Argentina, Bolivia, Chile, Columbia, Ecuador, Peru and Venezuela. Still got my geography =D)

千年没有出现彩虹 [Has not had a rainbow for a thousand years]

失业的老人在弹着斑鸠 [The unemployed old man is playing a banjo]

谁露宿在街头 [Who is sleeping outside on the streets]

谁却住在皇宫 [While which others are living in palaces]

日记上写满了梦想 [The diary is written full of ambition]

我决定要用这一生背诵 [I decide to dedicate my life to it]

呜谁在呼喊自由 [Who is shouting "Freedom"]

呜我用生命挑战宿命宇宙 [I use my life to challenge the fate of the universe]

Chorus

So now that I'm done with the poor translation of this song, written in a 1st person depicting the inequality of South America, in a semi fictional biography of Che Guevara, I shall start with my rambling nonsense. Firstly how the hell all this is linked with the title. It is linked, inevitably, through El Che, who at one point in time was Fidel Castro(former ruler of Cuba)'s right hand man and honourary Cuban citizen.

Also how this is supposed to be linked to death and freedom. Well, everything it seems. Ernesto Guevara was fighting for equality in South America. It was his freedom to dream. It was never fulfilled, but he died for his dreams. In his death, his legendary status was cemented and through word of mouth inspired many other people for his guts and his "dare to dream" attitude, with the negative side of him - violence, ruthlessness and to a lesser extent stubbornness, since it can be a positive trait as well, forgotten. In death, he has achieved so much more than he could possibly have alive. Perhaps that is the greatest freedom.

In an issue that seems slightly unrelated, yet so closely bonded, life! today has shown a review of a Cuban holiday. Another place to go to. Perhaps a Cuban cigar. In another issue that is totally unrelated and has no bonds, however distant, I have ordered guitar hero online and it is arriving on Saturday. $204 just gone like this. It had better be worth it.

justin.

Monday, July 14, 2008

monday mussel madness.

I had an awesome morning tea break today. A nice plate of rice with mutton curry, egg, stir fried mussels and a small portion of food poisoning, which includes nausea and diarrhoea. The taste was good, the price was good, and the result was even better. One day MC, meaning a brief respite from the headache inducing nags.

Yet all good things do come with their own negative side effects. Nausea came a little early on the shuttle bus home, and an upset stomach meant plain porridge with cai sim for dinner. All in all, it was well worth it. =D

On another note, the huge pimple on the back of my neck was finally burst. Onto the wall. Awesome yet again. There was a solid chunk of pus in it which stuck to the wall. Unfortunately, I forgot to draw the bullseye, which would have made squeezing the pimple more fun.

Fortunately(or not, depending on your point of view), I really cannot find anything more to say with a constantly rumbling stomach threatening to erupt into something really messy anytime.

justin.

Friday, July 11, 2008

dreams of epic proportions.

Today was quite awesome. Came home early and had a wonderful 4 hour nap, with vivid dreams. Unfortunately I cannot remember anything in it. When you rush along in life, do you sometimes forget your dreams?

justin.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

keep rolling.

I felt like playing roller coaster today. So I tried. But I wasn't successful. The coasters were square and therefore didn't roll very well.


justin.

Sunday, July 06, 2008

an arm and a leg.

I was pondering about having to book in again tomorrow and how to go about escaping it when my inattentive mind decided to drift around a series of sharp bends and came to the subject of well... something not so far away from what I was initially thinking of. Army. I wondered(actually I know) how my friends were getting on in their camps and their jobs while I laze and idle my way through to the 10th of every month for a measly $394.

My job scope as a turret mech is very simple. Listen to my MSG nag and chatter in his drunken, incoherent manner, pretend to be attentive and repeat every of his last 3 words and then after his whole huge pretense of us actually having done some work, take a well deserved break from the pulsing headache caused by listening to him.

Having friends doing all sorts of things in the army is a fun experience. Regardless of Ah Bia in NDU, Fang and Stix in OCS, Boris in Sispec, Darren in Signals(still ponning everything so his stories are more about his chao keng escape), James, Aldric as clerks of various vocations, Bobby as a storeman for Ammo, Arnold in Air Force tech(done not much also since his operation), Ronald and his 6 month BMT, Zhen Yu in Sungei Gedong with me but as A-vehicle mech, all stories are fun to hear.

The issue of pay and rank pops up once in a while and I realise how much my pay and rank to be ever achieved blows. But I'm sure some way or another they will all be made up. No field camp, no IPPT, no SOC. I'm not even sure what I'm serving is National Service. So some people get to become sergeants and officers because they do all this royally tough stuff, while most others(such as me) only ever get up to corporal(3SG max) because the royally tough stuff we do are not combat. Well, it's the way things work and I'm not even sure what I'm rambling on about. The main issue must be money. I don't really give a shit about rank but the money that comes with it. It is time to end this drunken rambling incoherent bullshit. Most of you probably have throbbing headaches now.

justin.

Friday, July 04, 2008

fridays are almost always awesome.

Firstly because the next day is Saturday, which means I don't have to pull myself out of bed early(unwillingly). Secondly because the next two days are weekends, which means I don't have to pull myself out of bed early(unwillingly). That's probably it, besides the psychological happiness one derives from Friday.

If you read my posts properly, you will realise that I almost always have nothing interesting to say. However, I still always like to type out drunk, incoherent sentences which might get people into a deep sleep less than 1/10 of the way through. That's how boring it is. And that's the extent of boredom I have been subjected to. So much so that my idea of fun now is vegging/stoning online.

Vegging and stoning generally mean the same thing. But vegetables and stones are quite different. Vegetarians do not actually consume stones, nor do stoners consume vegetables(this point is debatable). Chickens however, do consume tiny pebbles to aid in their digestion. However, since vegetarians are not chickens, I suspect that might be a little out of point. So why do terms which are quite different end up having a word variation that has generally the same meaning? The question begs for an answer, but the answer like Cheer Chen(or a lookalike, I'm not picky) for me, never appears.

justin.

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

suddenly old thoughts.

I was watching 私奔到月球 mv on youtube. Again. And I wished for a girlfriend like Cheer Chen. Again. And again. And again. But once again she did not appear. I knew she would not appear. But I wished anyway, in the hope she would one day do so. Because as long as there's time, there's hope, and time doesn't look to be ending yet. Looks like I have just taken an extra large order of McDelusion. And I am growing senile(prematurely).

justin.

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

bloody awesome.

Today we went to report at ARC for CO Parade and SAF Pride Day. After which was a blood donation exercise. Being a first time donor, I was pretty afraid and it was all in all rather painless, as well as giving me loads of tuang time. Met up with Staff Martin and Sergeant Kwa and had a nice chat, up until the time we were supposed to be released, missing the talk we were supposed to attend entirely. And we had early release. Bloody awesome I'd say. Again. Since I already said it in the title. No deep thoughts I'm a shallow guy.

justin.