Logicless Logic

whose death is more important anyway?

I just saw the news of this little girl in Taiwan who was a victim of a random attack. She was randomly decapitated in front of her mother and grandfather, by a drug abuser. And now I'm feeling all kinds of fucked up, because who would do that to a little girl? What kind of monster does this kind of thing?

Then I read that he had mental problems etc. so maybe he couldn't control himself. And how did his lack of self control manifest in him FUCKING DECAPITATING a little girl? And at this point in time, who wants answers? Should there be vengeance on this guy? I sure as fuck think so, because if your mental problem manifests in such violence, well maybe you need help. And maybe help is not living in this world anymore because it can be such a torture.

So then it comes to me blatantly ignoring those 60 odd people dying in Pakistan from ISIS related bomb blasts, and the Belgium attacks, and those in Turkey. So fucking what? I have been reading all sorts of articles about "You were Paris. You weren't Ankara. Why are you Brussels?" Seriously shut the fuck up. This doesn't have to be about race, or whose deaths were more important. People died for no fucking reason, and that in itself is a reason to mourn. It doesn't matter where more people died, or how many people are caring on facebook. Facebook is just a mask you wear to show other people anyway. You're just going to put #jesuitcharlie or #prayforbrussels or #prayforankara or like what I'm doing, sharing a fucking article about this outrage, and then living your own fucking life in a bubble because you already did your part in the hashtags. Until something happens again.

Yeah I'm just ranting because people died. And I'm feeling fucked up now, because humans can be like that. And nothing can be done, because now you just try to get by in a fucked up world. The fucked up people don't always get what they deserve, and innocent people get fucked over all the time. I'm not making sense anymore.

posted by justin @ 10:21 PM 0 Comments

there must be some kind of way outta here.

Sometimes it feels like there's no escape from this mundane bullshit people call adult life. It's like adults are just kids who still don't know what they want, and haven't gotten a grip, but have acquired enough materially to do things kids aren't able to. There is also this responsibility, albeit unwanted, that is forcefully thrust upon you, because now you're an adult, and you have to earn your own keep.

People talk about dreams, and chasing the dreams, chasing greatness and therefore happiness. Well, at this age I kind of realise, not all people are made for greatness, and that for every protagonist, there has to be millions of passers-by. Some people just exist, and don't desire to make a mark. Some people are not motivated to "make it big". So what? It somehow seems wrong to be unambitious. People seem to expect that adults our age are supposed to work damn hard, so that we lead better lives in the future. Why not just lead a better life now? Maybe not materially, but you have your young body damn it! See the world! Do something you can't do when you're 40 and richer. (I can even answer myself at this point in time. Money. Every fucking thing has to do with fucking money. I don't even think it's a good idea to get rid of money, the world would descend into anarchy, and I would suck at surviving in an anarchy.)

I'm just ranting at this point, and it's probably my escapist bullshit. It's been awhile since I had to write to vent, but boy am I glad I can somehow express myself in writing.

posted by justin @ 5:56 PM 0 Comments