meteorological verbal shower.
Thing is, it's less a shower than a fuck tonne of rain hurtling towards Earth like a plane which has lost both its engines and is hurtling towards Earth. I'm thinking how I am going to get to work later. But the thing is I shouldn't even be thinking, because people don't usually think in their sleep. Which means I'm not sleeping. Which means I'm doing something else that I shouldn't be doing instead of sleeping. And I get annoyed at myself for not sleeping and yet I decide to just stay up. And instead of going to sleep, I'm blogging, making myself too tired for work later, which I'm going to find hard to get to in any case. Fucking rain.
I realise I'm complaining about the rain, when I really shouldn't be, because compared to the afternoon, when I felt like I was walking around in an oven, this weather is really comparably favourable. I'm not being fussy or all if-only-I-could-control-the-weather-y, but if only I could control the weather, it would be raining in the afternoon and nice and cool now. In fact, forget the rain, just nice 25degrees breezy weather all through the year.
justin.
because he didn't not do that thing that he was not supposed to not do.
There hasn't been many updates basically because there's nothing to be updated on. Work is dragging on at a steady pace. I've been sent into a sleep induced rage after being woken up at unearthly(for me) hours of 7 in the evening. What's keeping me going is the promise of money to be earned to finance my material wants. Sonisphere. Iron Maiden. Motley Crue. It promises to be a hell of a trip.
Thing is, I'm thinking. Am I slowly but surely being dragged into the rat race, just like so many others, who though ideally would like to sit outside and observe other people in a mad rush for whatever is up for grabs, realise that if you're not one of them, then you must be either already very rich, or very willing to sacrifice material comfort. Which sitting on your ass is not likely to get you. Many speak of material comfort as if it isn't important to them at all, once you've got your best friends and family. But how many of them would be willing to sacrifice material comfort for their friends and family. And how many are actually willing to sacrifice their friends and family for materialistic gains. I fear the latter might outnumber the former. But I digress.
The rat race, though stupid to the observer, is actually necessary for the rats survival. At a time when so little food is available, rationality and logic get thrown out of the window and pure survival instinct kicks in. The fast and strong win. The weak or the lazy just don't get to eat. But I also realise I'm trying to justify the rat race just because I'm being dragged into it. Typical human nature.
justin.
the price of Ps.
I wanted to buy a book today. It cost $24. So I didn't. But with the books comes additional knowledge(with understanding). And what is the price of knowledge?
green green grass.
It's 4 in the morning and nearing the end of my off. I'm not asleep. Yet. I wish I was at work now busy earning money for my Sonisphere trip but I know if I was at work, I'd be wishing I was on off. Truly, I think I don't know how to be content. And I'm using a lot of "I"s in my post. Such a self-centred person huh?
Anyway, supper with James and Bia was good. And my brother caught a snake. Interesting times begin.
justin.
just go.
I don't know why I never go to sleep early. I always manage to fill my time doing something so nonconstructive that even I can't remember what they are most of the time and that it would have been better and more rightly spent sleeping. Sometimes, it's really difficult to get any explanation regarding things like this.
On another note, A7X's new album Nightmare is coming out on the 27th of July. It feels a little strange, looking forward to something that you know will be the last of it's kind, in this case, the last A7X album with contributions by the late Jimmy "The Rev" Sullivan, who laid down drum demos, some vocal tracks and wrote some songs. On one hand, I'm eagerly anticipating the album, but on the other hand, it's sad knowing that A7X will probably not sound the same without the creative input of Jimmy. I hope that it turns out well, like how Metallica coped with the death of Cliff Burton, who was also a major musical influence in Metallica's early thrash metal days. In the meantime, Mike Portnoy's probably going to be awesome cover for Jimmy, at least with the drums. But Jimmy's vocals are more or less irreplaceable. I know it's also a little late to be writing some sort of R.I.P thing for The Rev, since he passed away in December last year, but the feeling of his death seems so surreal, right up till now. With various videos of his antics, his singing, his drumming, it feels like he's still here, though I've never actually met him(but I did see him live in a concert).
Regardless, I hope he's having a good time jamming with Cliff, Jimi, Kurt, not forgetting the recently departed Ronny James Dio, as well as various others. It's a rockin' afterlife.
justin.
maybe.
I was looking at songwriting credits on Avenged Sevenfold's latest album and realised that The Rev had written the lyrics to both "Afterlife" and "Dear God", which seems oddly in place with his current situation, assuming the existence of an afterlife. Could he have known? Eerie.
on an entirely different (type of) note.
Right now, at this time of immense boredom, all I want is my long lost mechanical pencil, just so I can scribble a few pictures on my long unused notepad. If I had a wish now, that's probably what I would wish for. Only on impulse. If it wasn't on impulse, well, that's for another time.
justin.
taking back.
About 2 minutes ago, I accidentally deleted all the messages on my tagboard because of 2 ads I wanted to delete. The tagboard has been dormant for months at least, but I don't like to see messages left there by bots and shit like that. So happily, I went into the tagboard home page and pressed delete. But I accidentally moved the selection on the drop down menu to bulk delete 150 messages, leaving a mere total of my 1st 3 tags. So I deleted the rest of them too. It was a dumb move, though the tagboard was dormant, because tags are the little bits and pieces of what people who actually visit my blog's comments on whatever topic, whether or not it pertains to what I have to say. I'm sad to say that is all gone. I want to recover them but I don't see how I can. To everyone who has ever tagged, I'm sorry, both for you and for myself.
justin.
too abstract titles.
The whole issue with me using titles that are somewhat creatively linked to my post is that when sometimes I want to search for a particular post, it gets extremely difficult because the title is linked to the post in only the most abstract manner and I'm probably not in the most abstract frame of mind if I'm looking back at old posts. Not very practical but at the same time, I'd like to think it's rather creative.
justin.
harvey.
I don't even want to elaborate on this. Someone at work thinks a temp job is worth politicking over. Someone is not very smart and pretty much the ugliest human being who has ever set foot on this planet(I exaggerate for added effect). Not even my problem, because I haven't done anything wrong for him to shoot arrows. But I better watch my back.
what is freedom really?
I was looking back on my blog posts way back in time. And all the time when I have been talking about freedom, I realise I have a slightly different explanation and idea. And perhaps now I realise that for the past few years, I've had no idea what I was yammering on about. If you ask me now, what is freedom, perhaps what I can tell you, with all my knowledge is "I don't know."
something deep from cracked.
Matter can neither be created nor destroyed; when you die, what you mourn is not the loss of yourself, but the loss of your sense of self.
I'm sad to say, it's not the last time.
I actually highly doubt anyone reads this anymore but it's fine because the weather isn't. The weather would be a classic storybook fine day,sun shining in the blue sky, white fluffy clouds and what the storybooks have missed out like, high humidity, high temperature, uncomfortable and sweaty skin. And my air-con has chosen a good time to take a break. And I've got work later tonight. And I can't sleep from the discomfort, despite understanding very well that yes, I do live in relatively comfort as compared to many people who are more unfortunate than me. And posting this on Facebook would be whining to the world about my "woes" which probably mean nothing in the grand scheme of things. But I'd like to whine anyway so here I am, writing something I know I'll read tomorrow and think "Wha-? I actually wrote that?" Just to confirm with future me. Yes that was us(assuming future me and present me are 2 different entities and stuff like that but I'm not here to write a sci-fi novel so I'll not elaborate).
justin.
