Logicless Logic

a modest proposal.

Nope, not Jonathan Swift's. Mine. What I am about to propose is a pertinent part of the average Singaporean male's life. If you are dumb enough not to realise by now, it's the dreaded(by some) National Service. Some people were born to play soldiers, many others were not.

The average Singaporean enters NS with these "equipment".

1. Spare tyre

2. Oil reserves

3. Don't know anymore.

Anyway, you get the feeling they are preparing for a long drive. Or that they are extremely unfit. Of course there are the fit people but they were the ones who were made to play soldiers.
And after they come out from NS, these spare parts are usually used up. But not by driving. Instead, they are used up by running, jumping and all sorts of activities which one would not even think of doing while eating potato chips and Nissin Chilli Crab flavoured cup noodles while watching spongebob reruns at 2am, or any time at that.

BUT. I read from somewhere(here) that a sex session burns the same amount of calories as a 2 hour run. So why not let our NSmen burn their calories that way? 5BX can be the practise of 5 different sexual positions. It therefore negates the need for torturous long runs. This is also a good excuse to draft women into NS. Furthermore, since Singapore is experiencing an all-time low in sex drive as reported in The Sunday Times 2 weeks ago, this would be a good idea to build up citizens' sex drive. Also, in doing so, there could be a large increase in the population which the government craves so much.

This would be a win-win situation overall. However, I do forsee some problems. Men being the visual animals which we are, tend to favour partners who are good looking. Face it. Noone wants to have intimate sexual relations with a fat and ugly 18-20 year old. Therefore, there could be some problems there. Fotunately, I have come up with a solution. Liposuction treatment and plastic surgery, subsidised by the government. A cheaper alternative would be paper bags.

I therefore put forward this proposal and hope to get a positive response soon. Thank you very much for your kind attention.

Yours sincerely
justin.

posted by justin @ 12:17 AM