Logicless Logic

inspiration finds people in funny ways.

Before proceeding, I would like to say that this was a pen and paper entry written immediately after the incident. It's funny that I usually get my inspiration from school. A place where I half enjoy going to. True enough, I have enjoyed a barren spell in my brain for the past few weeks of examinations and breaks where I had the mental capability of a 4 year old. Yet the moment I step into school, I get hit in the head with inspiration.

Today, inspiration finds me in the form of an old man in white shorts, head full of grey hair. He is smiling, but the smile is not kind. It feels like a half lusty half leering smile. He beckons me and asks me to get my hair cut. During school hours.

Inspiration flows.

I come back to school, in the final 3 weeks, ready to forget all the shit we have given each other in the past 2 years. However, any bad feelings I have decided to dump out of the window was sent back through my mailbox. Inside there was a letter. It is illegal to throw things out of the window. Especially something as dangerous as bad feelings. Someone might get hurt.

But the school doesn't want to forget. It has a way of making people remember why they didn't like it in the 1st place. Please do not get the wrong idea. I do not hate the school, nor most teachers, nor my friends in the school. Just a certain type of people who remind me of my criminal offences. I am punished.

I am feeling how I'm feeling now not because I had to get my hair cut. I was going to have it cut anyway. However, some decide that the "punishment" for having long hair is missing lessons. Which makes having long hair more of a reward doesn't it? (On hindsight, it was even better because I was not the only one. It was like an enforced ponning of school without need of MC.)

We will not allow you to learn. Not in the final stretch, the final days to the big exam. They think they are depriving me a lesson but I learn other lessons along the way.

People always say that school is but a practice for the outside world. We are nurtured, cared for and given 2nd chances for our mistakes. Sometimes. But I have to agree. 2nd chances are given to those who fail examinations, though they might think otherwise. They just repeat the same year again. When mistakes are made, punishments are meted out to deter it from happening again. School teaches. But by fear. People study because the idea of not having a future is planted into their heads. People cut their hair etc not because they want to but because they fear getting caught. School always gives 2nd chances but sometimes people would prefer to choose otherwise.

As what I have written above proves, school is my place for inspiration. I will half miss it when I graduate in 3 weeks time. And I realise it is Tuesday. I have a Tuesday inspiration after reading Tuesdays with Morrie. Maybe I'm a Tuesday person as well. Maybe not. Maybe I need a teacher like Morrie Schwartz. Maybe I do have them. But they definitely do not come in the form of a white-haired, smiling old man.

justin.

posted by justin @ 11:08 PM