Logicless Logic

so. it has finally come to this huh?

If you asked me right now, how do I feel, I would answer you. However, I'm not very sure how I would answer you, or what answer I would give. Most likely, I'd tell you it was relief. Not joy or elation or other random synonyms of the word happiness. It's closer to "Ah finally that 100kg iron ball is unhooked from my scrotum..." than "YESS!!! I'VE STRUCK THE LOTTERY!!"

I also wonder who will even bother to shout that out. If I struck the lottery I'd be a jabbering pile of uncontrollable jerks and spittle and random noises, unable to string a few intelligible words together. Which is altogether different from my controlled and sane self now. And anyway, the lottery prize money would hardly make anyone rich. Just better off. So to behave like what I would behave like would be rather unbecoming.

That small step between military and civilian life has just become that much smaller. But I'm still going to tread carefully.

justin.

posted by justin @ 12:19 AM